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Charlie Rose

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  WETA    Charlie Rose    News/Business.   
   (2013) New. (CC) (Stereo)  

    August 23, 2013
    11:00 - 12:00am EDT  

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deadly e details on a accident involving a csx train. >> she was walking by the tracks when she was hit by the train. thoferts found her bodynd the stopped train. csx says the train was traveling from new york to virginia. you may remember that is one of the five rail crossings within a 1.8 mile stretch that we investigated back in july. it's the same area in rosedale where another train collided with a truck and caused that massive derailment and explosion. >> i have never seen a corridor anywhere in the united states that has this many private crossings, this many crashes. there is no other place in the country that exist that is as
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dangerous. >> and today's incident they believe was accidental. train traffic was halted for about two hours. >> under armor has reached the finish line of the sponsorship of the baltimore marathon. they are taking a different course from now on in spending money in the community. >> under armor actually made this decision months ago and ever since then the marathon organizers have been trying to find a replacement. either way they say the race throw downtown will go on. >> after ten years and millions of dollars spent to hold the title, baltimore based under armor will not be the main sponsor of the marathon. that is according to the operator of the marathon. >> i'd be lying if i didn't tell you i was a little disappoint ted. it's been great having them. >> they decided to spend money
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in the community in a different way much like last fall giving a school a brand new state of the art athletic field. last year they paid nearly half a million dollars to be the main sponsor. the race will take a financial hit but still expects it to make money. >> we have 19,000 runners registered today. we are pacing 15% higher than last year at this time. so we continue to do well. >> he promises the experience will not change for the fans and the runners who will still receive these under armor shirts with a slight change. >> of course blue, that's our mascot and he's been our mascot for 13 years. >> the running crab will replace the u.a. logo on the shirts. >> the marathon isn't the only baltimore race looking for a big financial partner. for the third straight year the grand prix will not have a
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sponsor. >> if we don't have something this year, we'll be fine and next year that sponsor will come in and they'll get to be the hero in the community. >> despite under armor leaving, the marathon continues to get regular sponsors. the latest company to get on bod is trance america and dws shoes. >> the search continues tonight for two men after a home invasion in laurel. it happened last night on north gail street. according to investigators the armed suspects bursts into the home and slammed a 60-year-old woman inside to the ground. they ransacked the place and stole somite frms her home. >> in tonight's medical alert three cases of west nile cases have been confirmed. it's been detectived in montgomery and your cher
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counties. they we can reck mend wearing long pants, long sleeves and hats if you are concerned about exposure. >> does it seem like there has been a few crashes along the 895 corridors. police say you are on to something and they are accepting up traffic enforcement. >> the people we stop are average working people but we definitely do come across criminals and potentially terrorists. anything is possible. it all starts with a traffic stop. >> 11 news was granted rare access and joined an officer as he stopped a speeding vehicle. aggressive and distracted drivers are the main cause of crashes that his force is targeted. >> light rail more than 24 hours after a truck hit wires. the light rail is operating on a
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sile track while repairs are under way. officials say a bus bridge will help connect passengers until those repairs are complete. there is no word on exactly when that will happen. >> boston bombing survivor erica continues to make coverage inspiring everybody she meets along the way. but she was already a profound impact on others before that horrible day in impact. and that's because she's a teacher, a really good one and we were there as she was reunite students today. break a teacher returns and we were there for the emotional reunion between erica and some of her students today. >> it's been months since henry baker saw his preschool teacher, erica. >> he sees her and he doesn't care that she looks different. he's just happy to see her. >> today henry and some of his classmates got to see that
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teacher they miss so much. >> what did you want to tell her? >> i love you. >> i love you too, buddy. >> it's been a while since i've seen them. they've all gotten so big since the last time i saw them. it's been a few months. it's good to see them all. >> erica has been away as she continues to recover from injuries from the bombing. she may have been absent from the classroom but not from the hearts of these little kids. >> she loves her. she can't go a minute without talking to her. she has a picture on her dresser and talks to her every day. >> the children and their parents were hear for the opening of the brand new davenport preschool, more than 100 kids ages two through four. erica is one of 18 teachers on staff. today they cut the ribbon for the new school year and they say erica has been an inspiration.
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>> she made us all realize there are tougher things in life. that we all go through challenges and she's been an inspiration to keep the momentum going and when the tragedy happened it brought the community back together again. >> as a teacher it's really hard being away from your students because they become your kids. so it's hard to be away from your kids because they have your heart. >> what is she to you? >> my teacher. > and what else? >> my best friend. >> he makes you cry and laugh at the same time he's so cute. >> erica has also become the key part of davenport's science curriculum through a new learning garden that was built and planted in her honor. >> we should be as honest as our hildren.
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two years ago today the biggest earthquake shook everybody. people here in baltimore felt it. there was a partial collapse of a historic home leaving bricks in the street. >> crews are still working to repair the washington monument as a result of that quake. cost estimates have reached $15 million. the monument is slated to reopen next spring but repairs at the cathedral will take ten years to complete. > 50 years ago next week 250,000 people gathered for the march on washington. one of the largest rallies in american history was the 1963 civil rights march on
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washington. it culminated with the i have a dream speech. tens of thousands of people are now gathering in our nation's capital 50 years late tore commemorate the historic event next wednesday. >> it is important to be here because of what it means and because of the things that are going on in the world today. >> a new survey found that the wealth and income gaps between african-americans and whites have increased since the 1960's. >> one group headed to the washington mall in d.c. tomorrow stopped by baltimore today. they hope to bring attention to people struggling 50 years after the march in washington.
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>> a group made a stop on a bus tour today. they showed some of the i city's youth how to tell their story, stories with new chapt terse connected with some of the same strug thals led to the march on washington. >> we are here to say we still have something to fight for. that dream has not been fully realized and we have to fight to make sure our young people are safe. >> robert is one of the oldest riders on the bus tour. he has a lot to say. >> what are you telling young people when you stop in some of these places? it's various but mostly letting them know that you can make it right. no matter how many times you fall down, you can get up and make it right. >> organizers say their goal is to model a modern day civil rights movement in such a way it will continue with new younger voices. >> they have the knowledge but
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it needs to be passed on to the younger people. so we need people to tell their stories to keep the movement going. >> our belief is if we can rechannel that energy and lift it up, all that pressure will turn this cole into diamondbackses. >> it's hope they hope can be renewed in washington. >> this bus tour will wrap up just in time for the national celebration. >> guess what, we have a cub. meet the cute addition to the national zoo. >> it was quite a zoo at a local at and t store when a certain slugger signed autographs. >> first, they are seen at some of baltimore's busiest intersections, kid connecting fundraiser money. questions are being raised about
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safety. >> some beautiful weather is on the way for the weekend. he forecast
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>> you may have seen them at busy intersections kids darting
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in and out of traffic asking for money for different causes. we focused on two organizations that are using children with their fundraising and questions are being raised about their safety. >> a girl request a donation. she drops a coin and retreevesfrit under the tire of this car. just seconds later traffic begins moving. it's incidents like this that worry drivers. we watched children walk up to cars and trucks at various intersections in baltimore. the kids all part of a summer program run by the african heritage inyou crated. >> we raise funds to give it back to the community. >> victory runs the organization. it has a walk aon this as a fundraiser. parents give permission for their tchoirn participate and the kids are trained and supervised to maintain safety.
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>> because they are aware doesn't mean the person that could possible hit them is aware. >> the organizers son says younger children must we re main on the seahawks or center island but drivers still complain about the children here. we saw kids very close to the busy turn lane. a group has been collecting funds at this intersection. >> we try to help the inner city youth stay off the streets. >> charles is one of the group's leaders. the children are referred to the group by schools and churches. parents give permission and during the summer day camp the participants have gone out with buckets to collect money. >> we are a non-profit and we want to send them on events. >> the events include going to amusement parks and movies. pictures show some of the kids in ocean city.
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some of the nearby residents worry about them collecting in the streets. >> there were 22 of them out there and then the alarm went off. >> we could see supervisors with the children. >> while we support any effort of any organization to do the right thing for children we want to make sure it's safe. being out in the street collecting money is not safe and not worth the risk. >> a mother whose son and daughter who are in the program she agrees with them fundraising but not with them collecting in the streets. >> the manner we went about it i wasn't too cool with because of the safety issues and my concern is what was best for the kids. >> there is no law that prevents groups from collecting money this way. the mother is a teen volunteer. she says that the group is looking into alternative fundraising method. >> news team assemble.
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that means you, rod. a giant panda at the national zoo in washington, d.c. has given birth. her water broke this afternoon and two hours later her third ub was born. maybe maurry povevitch should be alerted because zoo officials don't know who the father was because momma was artificially inseminated. they weren't sure she was pregnant because she was sassy with workers every time they attempted an ultrasound. > now your forecast. the showers moved out today. got the baseball game in without a problem and looks like the showers are moving o the coast just in time for a gorgeous weekend. you can see the trend here, the showers are pretty much off the
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coast now. we are however seeing some fog form off to the west of us. visibility down to a quarter mile. they had some showers and temperatures cool at night and that produces fog. if you had any rain in your backyard, watch for fog. while there were numerous showers around for a good part of the day, they didn't produce a lot of total precipitation. for the month of august we're 1 .37 inches below normal. a little bit of a dry spell here as of late. 80 for the high today. 5 below normal. 62 the low and that's the current temperature at the airport. so we are setting new lows as the cooler air comes in. 67 in the east at this hour. 50's out in the western maryland mountains as we speak. by morning we'll see 50's west
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of baltimore. a clearing sky but again a little bit of fog may form in your area toward morning. there is the last of the cloud cover on the eastern shore. strong high pressure comes in and settles over the region which provides a great weekend. there is a possibility of a sprinkle tomorrow. not in the morning but in the afternoon and evening watch these little showers that the computer model starts to generate. slight risk of a sprinkle popping up otherwise really nice sunny days and clear nights through the weekend. 78-83 tomorrow. sunrise 6:28. it will be breezy as the winds are out of the east to northeast on the bay. this is the area of maryland that has the best weekend weather. no chance of rain, lots of
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sunshine, no humid and temperatures in the 70's. ocean city is not bad either. a chance of a sprinkle tomorrow. but a nice saturday. then lots and lots of sunshine for sunday and monday at ocean city looks great too. >> for baltimore 81 tomorrow, 81 on sunday. look @ morning temperatures mid to upper 50's. staying cool at night into monday. then partly cloudy with a bit of a warming threand leads to some scattered thunderstorms on tuesday and wednesday. >> think back if toul that one athlete or celebrity that you'd do just about anything to meet in person. >> we get a front row seat when one young lady comes face to face with her crush.
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> oh my god i touched him. >> needless to say a good time was had by all. davis was there to sign autographs and take pictures with some excited fans and listen to that woman hyper ventilate. >> give that lady some oxygen. >> the all-star break long gone but there was a home run derby tonight. could the o's hold off the a's? we'll have a battle of the vowels. [ gerry ] you really couldn't have come at a better time.
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>> good evening. with just over a month left in the regular season the baltimore o's playoff chase continues with a huge series against the oakland a's. they sat only three games back in the second wild card spot. fourth bottom of the
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brian roberts grand slam. o's now up 6-3. the a's continue to rip the o's pitches. two run score, oakland goes up 7-6 but the birds answer with a little small ball that produces three runs, the o's hold on to win 9-7. jim johnson gets the first save since august 6. >> even though the ravens count come back last night they left lasting impressions on both sides of the ball. the fraffers never miss a big lay. >> ninth play of the drive and he walks in for the touchdown. >> they'll bring six on the blitz.
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newton is back inside the 25 yard line. >> in the shotgun. brandon in motion. steps up throws, he's at the 42 yard line. stokely not on the field this time. it's intercepted at the 30 beyond all reasonable doubt line. raven 40 and ahead for the end zone. the former san diego charger who takes the pick all the way to the end zone. > and fired down the seam. in for the ravens touchdown. the ravens may have found themselves a young receiver tonight. >> taylor hands it off. to the ten, to the five, lungs in, touchdown. berry.
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>> that was taylor in the corner of the end zone. >> a quick reminder that the final preseason game is thursday and you can catch it right heer. >> what can't you do? >> you can do sports. good job. >> you saw what the guys were doing on the field, that's what i can't do. >> stay was for a last look at the weather. [ dad ] so i walked into that dealer's office
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and you know what i walked out with? [ slurps ] [ dad ] a new passat. [ dad ] 0% apr. 60 months. done and done. [ dad ] in that driveway, is a german-engineered piece of awesome. that i got for 0% apr. good one, dad. thank you, dalton. [ male announcer ] it's the car you won't stop talking about. ever. hurry in to the volkswagen best. thing. ever. event. and get 0% apr for 60 months, now until september 3rd. that's the power of german engineering.
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>> we'd like some bonus weather for the weekend. >> we're going to deliver that. front went through. high pressure comes in. clearing skies. highs in the low 80's. morning temperatures in the 50's. just a slight chance of a sprinkle on the eastern shore tomorrow afternoon. some scattered thunderstorms return by tuesday and wednesday f next week. >> it can rain during the week, we don't care. >> thanks for joining us everybody. >> we'll see you back here on monday. have a great weekend.
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>> announcer: it's "the tonight show with jay leno," featuring rickey minor and "the tonight show" band. tonight, jay welcomes -- from "red 2," anthony hopkins. from "inside amy schumer,"
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comedian amy schumer. the music of robert randolph and the family band. and oulda, coulda, shoulda." and now, jay leno! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, thank you.
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welcome to "the tonight show." here's some -- here's some good news. al qaeda's number two man in yemen was killed this week by a a u.s. drone strike. yeah. see the way they found them? apparently he's doing a cover shoot for "rolling stone" and they were able to pinpoint -- yeah. so we'll see. well, joe biden said this week he still dreams of being president to which hillary clinton said keep dreaming. okay. [ laughter ] that's pretty much where that is. here's an odd story. a virginia attorney general and gubernatorial candidate -- gubernatorial -- gubernatorial. shouldn't you be a guberner? anyway. a guy named ken cuccinelli. okay, listen to this. he's defending his decision to go to court. he wants to make oral sex illegal. [ audience oohs ] he wants to make oral sex illegal in the state of
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virginia. let me tell you, he gets his way this could end the show business audition process as we know it. [ laughter ] this would wipe out -- [ applause ] oh, my gosh. banning oral sex. that's the kind of crazy talk you never hear from candidates like anthony weiner and eliot spitzer. yonever hear them talking -- exactly. exactly. [ cheers and applause ] well, this is kind of sad. just a few hours ago, detroit became the largest city in u.s. history to file for bankruptcy. [ groans ] that's financial bankruptcy. don't confuse that with l.a. that's moral bankruptcy. [ laughter ] that is total -- that is totally different. that is totally different. this is financial. hey, anybody catch the espys last night? did you watch the espys? [ cheers ] my favorite part was the red carpet arrivals. take a look. take a look. >> jay: a lot of stars. that's one of the gymnasts there. from the nba, there's lebron. lebron james. dwyane wade. dwyane wade.
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here are the players from the nfl arriving. here they are. [ laughter ] some of the nfl guys. that's all the nfl guys. that was very exciting. [ cheers and applause ] it was great seeing the cincinnati bengals. that was fun. i enjoyed that. well, how about this? a key witness for the prosecution in the racketeering and murder trial of boston crime boss whitey bulger was found dead this week. who could have seen that coming? [ laughter ] what? a witness in a mob trial dead? turned out the guy suffered an allergic reaction to a baseball bat. apparently that's what it was. [ laughter ] didn't even realize it. well, the british parliament has passed a bill this week allowing gay marriage in the united kingdom. gacouples. there you are. [ applause ] i guess gay couples over there will now have access to the same benefits as straight couples in england. medical, optical, of course there's no dental. it's england. they don't do that. but you
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know, they have all the others. all the others -- all the others will be there. so, that's good news. well, quite a bit of excitement in england. with everybody waiting for news of the birth of william and kate's baby. at this point the baby's way overdue. not as past due as a laker championship, but, you know, almost as overdue. well, anyway, the royal family getting hounded with baby questions. you know, i think the queen is starting to get a little impatient. well, here's the report. >> there is one person who might be just as anxious for the baby to arrive as they are. it's the queen. >> britain's queen elizabeth is telling schoolchildren she is anxious for prince william's wife, kate, to deliver a royal great-grandchild. however, this process is delaying her vacation, and she's getting a little tired with all the baby questions. >> do you want kate's baby to be a boy or a girl? >> jay: that seems so harsh. [ applause ] so harsh. no reason for that.
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well, according to a new study by doctors at brigham and women's hospital in boston, baldness can increase a man's risk of heart disease. unfortunately, unlike people, doctors say your heart cannot be fooled by a bad combover. yeah, your heart knows. combover. well, here's a sign of the times. obesity is becoming such a huge problem in this country a lot of people are literally too fat for ambulances or getting too heavy even for rescue helicopters to airlift them to the hospital. can you imagine? you know something? we need to forget about obamacare. what we need in this country is chris christie care. that's what we need. we need chris christie care. that's -- exactly. [ cheers and applause ] well, speaking of obesity, i mentioned this last night. a man in japan has been arrested for running a a prostitution ring that used overweight women. this guy wou deliver overweight women to the homes of lonely men. they originally tried it as a a mail order bride service, but then he realized most of the guys couldn't afford the shipping cost. they couldn't do it --
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he just brings -- [ applause ] hey. oh, yeah, kill a messenger. there's the good attitude. well, long john silver's big catch meal has been named the worst restaurant meal in america. 33 grams of trans fat, 19 grams of saturated fat, 3,700 grams of sodium. you know, instead of big catch, how about calling it deadliest catch? wouldn't that be better? oh, listen to this. here you go. [ applause ] more food news. kfc is now getting ready to test a new upscale style restaurant called kfc 11. yeah, a little upscale, yeah. this upscale version will only serve boneless recipes. boneless recipes. they're getting rid of the bones, which should be easy. i mean, they got rid of the chicken, so the bones should be -- that should be very simple. shouldn't be any problem at all. [ applause ] interesting idea, taxi companies in st. louis are now considering an additional charge for passengers who throw
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up in the car. if you vomit in the cab, it's going to cost you more. i got a better idea. how about a discount for the next guy that has to get in the cab? how about that. maybe try that first. yeah, exactly. [ cheers and applause ] oh, here you go. it's now time for something we call "the random cameo of the day." tonight's edition features former nba great charles barkley. see if you can spot charles barkley making a a surprise appearance at a a rugby match. take a look. ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ [ applause ] >> jay: well, police here in los angeles are warning residents to be careful because two men are robbing homes disguised as cable workers. seems a lot of people are reluctant to report the burglars because they realize the thieves are actually stealing less than what the cable companies were taking.
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[ laughter ] [ applause ] well -- another bizarre story. a man in ohio has been arrested for having sex with a pool raft for the second time. he was arrested in 2 2011 for having sex with the very same pool raft. can you imagine? did you hear the guy's excuse? he says the charges are overinflated. i don't know. i'm just telling you. you know -- [ applause ] isn't that bizarre? if you want to have sex with an overinflated piece of plastic full of air, how about one of "the real housewives of beverly hills"? try that. exactly. [ cheers and applause ] be back with "woulda, coulda, shoulda" and anthony hopkins. say hello to rickey minor and "the tonight show" band. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ the baby's in there?
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jay: welcome back, everybody. big show for you tonight. one of the finest actors around, academy award-winner starring in the new movie "red 2," anthony hopkins here
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tonight ladies and gentleman. [ cheers and applause ] very excited about that. also a wonderful comedienne who's got hit show on comedy central. it's very funny. amy schumer will join us as well. [ cheers and applause ] and, later music from robert randolph and the family band. i love these guys. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night from "america's got talent" our good buddy howie mandel wildrop by. and from the new film "r.i.p.d", will be actress and supermodel marissa miller. now folks, how many times have we all thought, "if i had the chance, i would have said this. i could have changed that i should have done this." with that in mind, it's time for something we call "woulda, coulda, shoulda." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jay: all right. let's meet our first panelist. from the "opie and anthony radio show" in the role of shoulda, please welcome author and comedian, author and comedian, jim norton. author, author. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jay: next a very talented actress and comedian who
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performs the voice in our photo booth pieces and is the host of the motherfunnyshow.com. playing the part of coulda. kyra soltanovich. kyra, come on out here. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jay: and finally is woulda. he's the star of amc's "showville." a very funny stand up comedian. alec mapa. alec, come on out. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jay: guys, here's what we do. we -- i present the stories about real people and you answer using woulda, coulda, shoulda. here's our first story. >> former spurs star dennis rodman says he deserves to be considered for the nobel peace prize. >> hmm. and in an interview with "sports illustrated," the basketball star says he should be recognized for his trip to north korea in february. he says since his visit, kim jong un, hasn't blown up any countries that he threatened to nuke. rodman also told the magazine, "why it's been left to me to
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smooth things over, i don't know. but i'll tell you this. if i don't finish in the top three for the next nobel peace prize, something's seriously wrong." [ light laughter ] >> jay: and there is something seriously wrong. woulda, what do you got? >> a nobel peace prize? i would have asked for something easier for an nba player to take home. like a kardashian. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: all right. coulda? >> look, we're talking about dennis rodman. someone that calls himself "the worm." i think they could have given him an award just for finding north korea on a map. [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: right. all right. shoulda? >> i think i should have learned more about north korea. every time i try to google "pyongyang", porn shows up on my computer. >> jay: really? really? [ laughter ] [ applause ] all right. our next story. a flight attendant from new
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york, louann giambattista has filed a lawsuit after a a co-worker had accused her of sneaking rats onto planes by hiding them in her pantyhose and her underwear. [ audience oohs ] now one of her co-workers says that on one flight she saw louann feeding a rat. but louann claims she was simply eating a dinner roll out of a cup. i don't know who eats dinner rolls out of a cup. anyway, she still works at the airline. and the lawsuit is pending. woulda? >> well if i were one of those rats, i would be really upset. i prefer not to sit in cooch. [audience oohs ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: and i'm guessing that's true. [ laughter ] all right. [ laughter ] all right. all right. all right. >> it's not for lack of trying. >> jay: that's right. all right, coulda? >> it's so nice of you to come out today on "the tonight show." you know, listen, a filthy rodent like a rat does not
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belong on an airplane. all right. she could have used what the rest of us ladies use, right, a a rabbit. battery operated. i call mine ryan gosling. [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and he's purple. he's purple. >> jay: okay. >> sorry, too much. >> jay: too much information shoulda? >> i don't understand this one at all. if she wanted something that creepy looking in her underwear she should have hooked up with me. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: all right. our next story. this is 58-year-old tony allyene. he is a "star trek" fan who spent ten years turning his condo into a perfect replica of the bridge of the starship voyageur. complete with voice activated blue lighting, command council and transporter room. but now he has to tear it down, because, surprise, his wife is divorcing him. what a shock. she owns the condo and she's decided to sell it and tony of course heartbroken over losing his creation. but apparently, not so much about the marriage, woulda? >> i woulda tried to make that
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marriage work. i would love a "star trek" condo. is there anything gayer than "star trek"? [ light laughter ] >> jay: really. >> the entire crew wore bell bottom capri pants and go-go boots. [ light laughter ] i mean, even their weapons were gay. they didn't have guns. they had phasers. [ laughter ] and if you didn't want to kill somebody, you could set your phaser on stun. >> jay: right. [ light laughter ] >> i'm going to stun you. i'm stunning. [ light laughter ] >> jay: all right. [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: coulda? >> look, i've dated some treki's and i think he could have saved his marriage if he would have stopped having sex at warp speed. [ audience oohs ] >> jay: right. always a problem. shoulda? >> well, i think his guy should have realized that like most "star trek" nerds, his final frontier would be alone masturbating in his parent's basement. >> jay: all right. [ applause ] here's the next one.
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a colorado psychic has apparently duped her clients out of almost $300,000. nancy marks told a number of customers who came into her shop that their bank accounts were haunted and they had to give her the evil cash so she could lift the curse. [ light laughter ] eventually one of these people caught on. oh oh. there's a bright one. the person caught on, told the police, marks has now been arrested for fraud. woulda? >> well, you know, if i were a a psychic, i would have looked into the future and known that i was gonna be arrested and have my picture taken and lost some weight and had my roots done. [ laughter ] >> jay: yeah. yeah. >> i mean, look at that picture. >> jay: yeah. yeah, it's not good. [ applause ] >> maybe a cleanse of some kind. >> jay: maybe a cleanse of some kind. a cleanse. all right. coulda? >> i think she could have saved herself a lot of misery and trouble and just took a job with wall street. because that kind of scam is legal for them. [ light laughter ] >> jay: all right. very good. [ cheers and applause ] shoulda?
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>> i should have tried this on kate upton. kate, your vagina is haunted. [ light laughter ] i'm going to need a nice long weekend to drive the curse out of it. [ audience oohs ] >> jay: all right. there you go. "woulda, coulda, shoulda." [ cheers and applause ] thanks to alex, kyra and jim norton. be right back with anthony hopkins right after this. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i like a clean kitchen. i don't do any cleaning. i make dirt. ♪ very, very heavy. i'm not big enough or strong enough for this. there should be some way to make it easier. [ doorbell rings ] [ morty ] here's a box, babe. open it up. oh my goodness! what is a wetjet? some kind of a mopping device. there's a lot of dirt on here. morty, look at how easy it is. it's almost like dancing. [ both humming ] this is called the swiffer dance.
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[ both humming ] [phone rings] [phone rings]
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: my first guest, one of the finest actors of our time, actually of any time. he is academy-award winner. currently staring in the action sequel, "red 2." which is in theaters friday. you know, we put we put together a montage of his work and it was like a half hour long. he's been in so many great films. so, take a look at some of the great movies he's been in. here we go. >> a census taker once tried to test me. [ cheers and applause ] i ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti. [ applause ]

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